Suzuki Burgman USA Forum banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
822 Posts
Discussion Starter #1
I can't remember where I got this. All I remember is that when I first read it I just couldn't stop laughing!! So I thought I'd share it with everyone here:

-----------------------------------------

To Wave or Not to Wave

By Shalom Auslander

I love motorcycles, and I love riding. Like many of you, what first drew me to bikes was not just the experience of riding, but the feeling that I'd become part of a special community—a brotherhood, really. Nothing calms me more than a long ride down the interstate, waving to the members of my beloved clan. Except when I pass Harley guys. I hate Harley guys. Hate, hate, hate. When they pass me on the highway, you know what I do? I don't wave. With their little tassle handlebars and the studded luggage and the half-helmets—God, they drive me crazy.

You know who else I hate? BMW guys. Oh, I do hate those guys. I don't wave at them, either. They think they're so great, sitting all upright, with their 180-degree German engines. God, I hate them. They're almost as bad as those old bastards on their touring motorcycles. You know what I call those bikes? "Two-wheeled couches!" Get it? Because they're so big. They drive around like they've got all day. Appreciate the scenery somewhere else, Grampa, and while you're at it, I'm not waving to you.

Ducati guys—I don't wave at them either. Why don't they spend a little more money on their bikes? "You can have it in any color you want, as long as it's red." Aren't you cool! Like they even know what a desmo-whatever engine is, anyway. Try finding the battery, you Italian-wannabe racers! I never, ever wave at those guys.

Suzuki guys aren't much better, which is why I never wave at them, either. They always have those stupid helmets sitting on top of their stupid heads, and God forbid they should wear any safety gear. They make me so mad. Sometimes they'll speed by and look over at me and you know what I do? I don't wave. I just keep on going. Please, don't get me started on Kawasaki guys. Ninjas? What are you, twelve years old? Team Green my ass. I never wave at Kawasaki guys.

I ride a Honda, and I'll only wave at Honda guys, but even then, I'll never wave at a guy in full leathers. Never, never, never. Yeah, like you're going to get your knee down on the New York Thruway. Nice crotch, by the way. Guys in full leathers will never get a wave from me, and by the way, neither will the guys in two-piece leathers. And I'll tell you who else I'm not waving at—those guys with the helmets with the loud paintjobs. Four pounds of paint on a two pound helmet–like I'm going to wave back to that! I'll also never wave at someone with a mirrored visor. Or helmet stickers. Or racing gloves. Or hiking boots.

To me, motorcycling is a like a family, a close-knit brotherhood of people who ride Hondas, wear jeans and a leather jacket (not Vanson) with regular gloves and a solid-color helmet with a clear visor, no stickers, no racing gloves and regular boots (not Timberlands). And isn't that what really makes riding so special?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
5,363 Posts
Funny piece!

A week ago I was riding South to Scootercade. There was a constant stream of motorcycles riding North to the Sturgis rally. Hundreds of them. Maybe even thousands...

I'll normally wave at anybody riding anything that vaguely resembles a motorcycle. But after waving almost constantly for about an hour, I realized that it was crazy to ride with one hand on the handlebars all the way to Arkansas. So, I decided not to wave at anyone who was riding North to Sturgis. :shock:

I didn't resume waving until I was headed East in Arkansas!
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,278 Posts
Great post Chuck. :lol: Thanks.

Paul, maybe you need the Goldwing optional 'wave button' for trips like that. ;)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,385 Posts
A couple of bikers are out riding when one of them has an accident and falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, . then a revving engine, screeching tires, two dull thud's. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
103 Posts
the waving thing

That was great! I really like all the waving - Miata drivers do it, too.

:D

I almost had a "moment" this morning trying to return a wave while braking - it was only light braking but I took my hand off the rear brake lever a second before I released the front. No problems but it gave me a bit of a start to realize what could have happened. :oops:
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
13,278 Posts
Randy said:
A couple of bikers are out riding when one of them has an accident and falls to the ground...
Harley riders. Right??? :twisted:
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top