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Fifty Shades of Grey

The missus bought a Paperback
down Shepton, Saturday,
I had a look inside her bag;
T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey".

Well I just left her to it,
And at ten I went to bed.
An hour later she appeared.
The sight filled me with dread.

In her left she held a rope;
And in her right a whip!
She threw them down upon the floor,
And then began to strip.

Well fifty years or so ago;
I might have had a peek;
But Mabel hasn't weathered well;
She's eighty-four next week!

Watching Mabel bump and grind;
Could not have been much grimmer.
And things then went from bad to worse
When she toppled off her Zimmer!

She struggled back upon her feet
A couple minutes later;
She put her teeth back in and said
‘Look! I'm a dominator!’

Now if you knew our Mabel
You'd see just why I spluttered,
I'd spent two months in traction
For the last complaint I'd uttered.

She stood there nude and naked
Bent forward just a bit
I went to hold her, sensual like
and stood on her left tit!

Mabel screamed, her teeth shot out;
My god what had I done!?
She moaned and groaned and shouted out:
"Step on the other one"!

Well readers, I can tell no more
About what occurred that day.
Suffice to say my jet black hair,
Turned fifty shades of Grey.

Premium Member
8,145 Posts
great material , even has the right cadence for me to corrupt the high school rotc marching band with, :twisted: :lol: :lol:
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