[SemBurg]

We have been struggling with family issues, health/medical issues and now four family deaths in 5 years. We finally had my MIL approved/placed in an ALF. This process was painstaking and you had to take the BS with a smile because you are dealing with the Government for Medicaid approval, the Veteran's Administration for Aid and attendance funding, this pays close to $1500.00 per month for a surviving spouse to aid with care. Married Veteran $2,642.00 per month. This is for in home care, or in facility care, I did not know it existed. I have never used my benefits; this was a life saver for us and grateful for it. We also had approval from Medicaid which will ratchet up as her care needs increase. We moved her into this stunning beautiful ALF with care totally 100% covered. Lots of work and documentation required from both. I rode there today for a visit, now can take a breath as we prepare for the sale of her Mobil Home. Been working on this when time allows so not much to be done for sale now but shining/cleaning and I'm good at that.

Good to get out and ride in the cool temps, even in traffic it was refreshing.

This was a totally different outcome than my mother's care. My mother is in a private pay ALF, they clearly state they will accept no insurance or assistance. I set up an account to fund her expenses from the sale of property and her home. Timing is everything and I missed the mark regarding timing when I sold the Ocala home over two years ago the market shot up dramatically, almost double the value and the price I received from the sale.

I have set up a trust account for her care and now will proceed with attempting to qualify my mother for the same and move her as she is quickly running out of funds. This is an emotionally and physically and financially draining experience. Thank God for the VA and my Burgman. I wish I would have received a handbook for life when I was born, so many things to still learn to navigate in this world. This is a huge, positive step that will help give us our lives back. Caregiving is rough stuff, not for sissies. I have learned I am no caregiver. I am good at making things happen, good facilitator. More good news...She LOVES it and is adapting very well.

 

[Rickgivens]

Don't be so modest, you are a caregiver, and doing a really good job!

 

[mikeyMarine]

some hints, visit OFTEN! Vary the times of day and days of week, keep in mind smells happen and cannot be totally avoided, but can be dealt with in a timely manner, ALL care facilities are short staffed, always will be, Learn to live with it! I took care of mom and dad at home, but we had a few times in rehab, and I visited their friends in LTC in many different facilities,
Do your best, be satisfied you did your best, and don't feel guilty about any mistakes you make.